Falling Out of Love

It took me so long to realize this, but I'm not in love with you anymore. I haven't been for a while now. 

I'm not in love with you, I'm in love with the idea of you. I'm in love with the idea of being in love... 

I was in love with the idea of being in love with you. 

I was in love with the memories of you. 

I was in love with the idea of us being an us. 

But in the end, I was still only in love with an idea. I've realized that my feelings for you are just a mirage, and now I can walk right through them because there's nothing there, really. They're just a figment of my hallucinations. 
 

It still hurt a lot, but not as much as I expected, when you distanced yourself from me. It was wonderful while it lasted, but it's over now, and I can handle that, because after so long, I've finally fallen out of love. 

At long last, I am finally free.

Oh, and for the record, I'd like to stay that way.

Unforgotten

"And then they leave you and you have nothing, but you just keep going."

"Just keep going. There's nothing else you can do, is there?"

-

"We're just old ladies."

"But you're still beautiful."

-

"They took it away. He was pretty mad about that."

"I'm sorry."

-

"Please listen to the music."

"I'm listening."

-

"I have people coming."

"Okay."

-
"I'm the worst person here. If you don't believe me, ask them."
"Oh, don't say that. It's not true."
-
"What did you do today?"
"I can't remember."
-
"I won't give up. I won't."
"Good, don't ever give up."
-
"I think there's something wrong with me."
"No, you're perfect."
-
"Please let me try again. This is hard."
"You can always try again."
-
"Take me home. Please, take me home."
"Just relax. You're going to be okay."

It breaks my heart, the wrinkles around the vacant eyes and blank smiles. The off-key humming and confusing conversation. The memories that will never be remembered, or that only make sense inside their minds.

I keep going back anyway. 

I wonder if I lied when I told her she'd be okay.