Minutes
Hours
DAYS
Weeks
Months
Y e a r s
It's been a lifetime since I entered the world as an outcast. Since I retreated into myself and my books and immersed myself in learning, and somewhere deep inside me I resigned myself to the very real possibility that I will forever be in this painful isolation. So long since I became me in a way that I never want to be me again. Since I started looking for the meaning of being alive, not just living.
It's been years since I was forced to pick up everything and move to another state. I always knew we wouldn't be there for very long and that just made me more and more... lonely. Haunted by the memory of my once-friends saying they would write me every day. I never received a single letter.
It's been months since I walked into the dim, white hospital room and said goodbye for the very last time. It was the last day of December and it was freezing outside, but it wasn't as cold as my heart was. Not even near that cold.
It's been weeks since he put his arms around me and held my hand and held me close and my heart beat in my chest. For a moment I let myself hope, but then I had to remind myself that he was only putting on a show.
It's been days since I laid on the grass and lifted my face to heaven and poured my heart out into the stream and felt loved and understood by the people who mean the most to me.
It's been hours since I heard her crying and didn't know what to do, and I decided not to care about class so I could talk to her and feel like we were friends again.
It's been minutes since I thought I might have been falling out of love.
It's been seconds since---
Time passed.
It's been years since I was forced to pick up everything and move to another state. I always knew we wouldn't be there for very long and that just made me more and more... lonely. Haunted by the memory of my once-friends saying they would write me every day. I never received a single letter.
Time passed.
It's been months since I walked into the dim, white hospital room and said goodbye for the very last time. It was the last day of December and it was freezing outside, but it wasn't as cold as my heart was. Not even near that cold.
Time passed.
It's been weeks since he put his arms around me and held my hand and held me close and my heart beat in my chest. For a moment I let myself hope, but then I had to remind myself that he was only putting on a show.
Time passes.
It's been days since I laid on the grass and lifted my face to heaven and poured my heart out into the stream and felt loved and understood by the people who mean the most to me.
Time passes.
It's been hours since I heard her crying and didn't know what to do, and I decided not to care about class so I could talk to her and feel like we were friends again.
Time passes.
It's been minutes since I thought I might have been falling out of love.
Time passes.
It's been seconds since---
But time still passes.
I can't handle how much I love this. It can't be handled. Love love love love so so good.
ReplyDeleteOooooooooooooh my goodness.
ReplyDeleteah!! i love how you did this!! it is brilliant!
ReplyDelete